My life is like a bowl of cherries

usually at the end of each school year i make room and i keep every thing but at the end of junior year i decided to stop this pack rat cycle and i went through every paper i threw out just about everything. i kept a few well graded papers for nostaglia purposes.
then today i started to sort out what i need for college applications and for one college instead of sending in sat/act scores, you can just send in a graded paper with teacher's comments. i thought wow! i have the perfect essay, so i run upstairs to get it in the exact place where i kept my junior year papers and i looked and i could not find it. apparently i threw it out......

poop

so i couldnt sleep last night so i lying (laying ?) in my bed just thinking and i thought that it would be fun for our last field day to make it 80s field day. cut shirts, belts, leggings, sweatbands, leg and arm warmers, side ponytails.i'm going to be doing it and if anyone wants to join me they are welcome to it....o maybe we could do aerobics to olivia newton john's "physical".

then i was also thinking if i'm a team captain, i'm going to make my team have real face paintings. not just "go blue" or gold koala pawprints, there would be giant butterflies and spidermans and tigers running amuck through the entire campus.

hello my name is mary and i've been having doubts about my future. i dont think that i want to go to college but considering my current education and familial situation i dont think that is an option. if i dont go to college what will i do with my life? how will i get a job? in today's highly competitive job market it is becoming harder and harder to get a job and lack of any sort of college degree makes the employment search even more difficult. so why, may you ask, equipped with such knowledge, would a smart, promising young woman as myself all of a sudden get an extreme urge to get her high school diploma and halt her education there? i'm not exactly sure. i guess one could call it an epiphany much like that of kevin spacey's character in american beauty only i'm not middle aged or in love with a young blonde (unless of course shia has dyed his hair). maybe i'm just having an overwhelming sensation as a result from the piles and piles of higher education institutions that i visited last month or maybe it's because i dont want to deal with applications and the acceptances and the denials and whatever else comes with the agonies of one's last year of childhood. or maybe that's it ...i dont want to deal with whatever comes with graduating high school. maybe i'm just being a baby and i'm having an internal panic attack much like the external one i had on that fateful trip on the log flume.
ever since this thought trickled into my mind i've been thinking about what i would do if i did not go to college, what would i do? would i stay home? would i travel the country in my imaginary car? would i become an nomad? would i roam the once wild west just like the buffalo? then sadly i would be in such high demand from the native americans (for my casino act) but such a nuissance to the white man that i would be killed off and the native americans would again crumble under the oppression of the white devil. then years later hbo would make another documentary about the demise of the native american and there would be a chapter with very dramatic music about my interaction with these true americans. that was completely ridiculous.
again maybe i'm just stressed out from the school year that is quickly approaching and maybe because i've seen so many relatives in the past two weeks and i'm just so tired of answering the "so where are you thinking about?" "what do you want to study?". ever since i've thought of not attending university, i've just wanted to respond "o nowhere really. i think i'm just going to wonder around for a bit" then my mother would laugh it off as if i was joking and look at me for reassurance that i was actually in deed joke but i would then give her a look that would say otherwise and she would just look heartbroken and furious because she wants me to succeed but at the same time she would be pissed that i wasted her money on a college prepatory secondary education.
i think i'll probably change my mind when it comes time to decide because i used to want to go to college its just been lately that i've been questioning it. i've always been really bad at conclusions and endings so i think i'll just end it here.....o how ironic.

so i just finished the last harry potter book...........now whOMG!!!!!!!!!!! jeopardy teen tournamnet summer games was going on all last week and i didnt know!!>?!??!?!?!?!? i hate being away, i miss everything  but thank goodness that the summer games continue this week. sorry for that interruption but there was a commercial and i couldnt contain myself.

well i dont know about you other ursuline-ites but i can not for the life of me decide on what to put on my senior quilt square. nothing seems good enough.

gooddamn toshiba this retarded computer keeps flashing that bluw screen and turning off, maybe i should get that extended warantee.....

i think that the catholics can finally rest because i think that the second coming of jesus has come only this time his name is mo'nique.

i saw this really great movie (igby goes down) and then i saw this really disturbing but amazing movie (mysterious skin) and i want some one to see them so i can talk about them because currently my only outlet would be the imdb message board and i'm a loser but i wouldnt sink that low.

i cut up two cantelopes last night and i ate so much of it i could have sworn i was orange and i was nervous but then i stopped and said wait i go to ursuline, looking orange is the norm i'll be fine.

i have a bruise on my leg and it hurts.

i've had this dicussion with a bunch of people and i have decided that once rory gilmore slept with dean and got bangs, i hate her.

hahahhaha i just read back the above statement and instead of "got bangs" i read "got banged".

i'm so immature but not in a bad way

bored.

the only thing i like pizza-flavored is pizza.

i watched johnny tsuanmi last night and his grandfather was wearing tall uggs

the man has been pushing me down lately.

i love when you start to eat an ice pop and it tastes like the popsicle stick. it reminds me of summer.

blows to one's ego: having to go first in double jeopardy and/or not being able to participate in final jeopardy

i have no idea what i want to do with my life. i used to have an idea but then i read this article and it made me question everything.

i'm hopelessly in love with seth rogan.

i'm currently watching this movie on LMN with a bald dr. cox, christopher meloni, and marcia cross and i have no idea what the hell it is about.

my favorite title for a short story is "hills like white elephants" by ernest hemingway.

sats = tomorrow = say what?

i hate ursuline and its continuous censorship

i read britney spears's letter to her fans.

the bright eyes concert i went to last week has changed my way of thinking but i dont know why

i scheduled my road test but i cant parallel park

i'm doing really bad in physics this quarter because honestly i could care less about how sound and light travels

i think next friday i'm going to go ly down in my backyard for an hour soaking up what's left of spring.

i have many ideas for college essay and i think they just might get me into college

if i die tomorrow i wont be okay with it

performing or hosting a senior talent show is a large dream of mine

i just found out that "ginormous" is not a real word

if someone ever built a time machine, there would be a complicated set of rules to go along with it

i forgot to get my mom something for mother's day but i'm already planning on what to get my dad for father's day

i've used the word "i" a whole lot in this entry

is "a whole lot" correct english?

the only reason i want to get my liscence is so that i can blast music. i've already started making a cd

i very strongly dislike chef boyardee

i love stand up comedy

i'm going to go make taquitos now.

au revoir.

disney channel is making a "johnny tsunami " sequel ............ my terrible week was just turned around.

since i'm loser, i'm sitting home on saturday night watching raise your vioce on abc family and i'm finding hilary duff's character and her brother's relationship very disturbing and now as i'mn writing this, her brother just died in a car accident while they were listening to three days grace. ohh and they just said that hilary's birthday is april 20th............this is so ridiculous. why am i watching this? o so i guess now she's no longer singing because it reminds her of her brother, but i predict that she goes to the school and then she becomes friends with a boy and she opens up to him about her brother and then there's a big recital and she's nervous to sing in it but the boy says somehting about her brother being proud and she goes out and sings  (or as close to singing as hilary duff can get).

i would switch to 'how high' but i missed the setup and you cant just jump into a redman/methodman movie, i mean that shit is complex.

back to hilary...o goddamn it, what has my social life dwindled down to?

shia labeouf was on regis and kelly today and then i found out that he's going to be hosting saturday night live this week........


good birthday morning!

o snap look at how delicious these cupcakes look........




i dont kno if delicious is the word i would use.

i started to write my nhs essay and then after two sentences i turned it into a hate letter. i just sat and wrote and called them selfish communists and some other things and now i have to backspace it all and actually write a legit essay that wont get me on the nhs hit list or rejected from every american college or a wiretap.

The Journal News Sunday March 18 2007

Horoscope: Aries
You're utterly enthralled by things other people don't find the least bit interesting. This is part of your uniqueness -- a sort of talent in and of itself. Something lucky happens after you've spent hours being fascinated.


ok somebody call the federal government because the journal news has been wiretapping my life.

did you ever have one of those days where you're hopes were up and then they were let down and then brought up again and then let down once more and then your day turns around when that evening you see that myles jeffrey from jeopardy teen tournanament is going to be on "true life:i'm a genius"?

i have food coloring and i want to use it. but i doubt i can use it on my research paper unless of course i discover that j.d. salinger has an unholy obssession with a color other than white that can be created with the primary colors and green and then i would be able to physically dye the pages of my paper. but thats just a dream and all i want this paper to do is die die die die die die die die dye.

i can't wait for spring.  i want to buy big sidewalk chalk and cover the pavement with hopscotch and human profiles. just as i wrote that the song lyric "lets get f---ed up and die" ran through my brain. i dont know why because i dont want to do that. all i want is to be like spinelli on recess and create a chalk-tastic masterpiece. maybe i can even find a skateboard to roll around on just like her. and then someone can call an art school director and he/she would see it and this time the hose wouldnt lose control and wash it all away and i'd get a scholarship to and art school and spend my days coloring on the ground. thats my new dream job. next time i play (s)mash its going under the job catergory right under writing award show banter. why is it that spring brings so many opportunities and unveils so many dreams? maybe thats where the name spring came from.

today i went to staples and i bought a clip board and mr. sketch markers. it was between the markes and the 64 crayons with the built in sharpener but i like to use at least three senses when i draw.

i hate steak. i hate steak houses. i hate family dinners. i hate beng overdressed. i hate my mom's obsession with appearances. i hate my clothes. i hate failing diets. i hate school. i hate my lack of a social life. i hate aim. i hate "lol" and "lmao" and "brb". i hate when people say "lol" and "lmao" and "brb" in regular conversation. i hate being called "mare". i hate socks. i hate rice. i hate that comedian with the puppets. i hate my room. i hate the impending college process.


i'm in a crap mood and now i have to go get dressed in some ridiculous clothes and go to an overpriced restaurant because its only the best for my dear old brother.

its that time again kids, jeopardy teen tournament!!!!!! watch it.



"she looks like a nerd, but its better than looking like a turd." ~my grandma

silly leelee sobieski, josh hartnett is so much hotter than chris klein. i'm totally renting "o" this weekend.